Getting better at appreciating what IS better.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been doing some personal and professional reflection these past few weeks.
The start of a new year is clearly a normal mile-marker in the stages of our life. Some people might argue that January 1 is an arbitrary point in time, but I think it’s a good thing. As I’ve written before, it’s a natural pivot point and personally I’ve found a lot of success leveraging the new year for personal growth and change.
We should take stock, do our lessons learned, and plan ahead at some point - so why not the new year. If we do it for projects at work, why shouldn’t we do it for the thing that is FAR more important – our own life?
And, as long as we’re thinking about what we want to do better, we should probably think more about how we’ve already gotten better. How have we grown or improved, already?
Interestingly enough, in doing this reflection, here’s something I’ve observed:
I’m getting better at noticing and appreciating what is already better.
The fact that I’m even reflecting on the ways in which I’ve gotten better is a marker of growth for me. Meta - I know! But in all honesty, I’m a happier person inside and out. I notice, my wife notices, others notice.
But an even bigger growth marker is that I’m able to simply pause and appreciate what is better — without jumping into analysis or seeking out further improvement.
Think about it: When you work towards getting better at something, and then you achieve it, what happens?
Do you pause and appreciate your success so far, or do you immediately jump to the next thing?
Personally, all of my instincts tell me to do the latter. Almost all high-performers I know do the same. Harvard Business Review has a great piece on this: How Are You Protecting Your High Performers from Burnout? Those same high-performers are also far more likely to suffer from mental health struggles like anxiety and depression. A solid Forbes piece on that at: Just Because You're A High Achiever Doesn't Mean Mental Health Is Not For You.
For me - the wheels in my brain start turning: Why did I get better at that? What did I do differently to achieve that outcome? How can I apply that to something else? How can I get even better? What should I work on next?
These aren’t bad questions. After all, this kind of analysis was essential to improving as an athlete. When I was in Olympic training mode, the moment I improved something, I took that thing for granted. I didn’t have time to appreciate my abilities; my attention needed to go towards the problems I had yet to solve, the weaknesses I’d yet to improve, the new-found goals I’d yet to accomplish.
A problem-focused approach was necessary for my athletic improvement in that kind of training environment. (Notice that I don’t say it’s necessary for athletic improvement in general; training for the Olympics is different than say, trying to get in some daily exercise for health purposes.) But in recent years I’ve noticed that focusing on problems (or perpetual improvement) isn’t all that healthy for myself, or the people around me.
My friend and mentor (and previous nutrition coach) John Berardi puts it this way in his book Change Maker:
“There’s a concept I love called ‘the moving horizon.’ The idea is that if you run your fastest to ‘catch’ the horizon, you never will because, obviously, it’s always moving away from you.
People know this, of course. But they still try to ‘catch the horizon’ when working toward goals. As soon as they get close to reaching them, they set new, more ambitious ones. And, since the goal keeps moving away, they end up feeling frustrated even though they’ve made tremendous progress.”
With John’s explanation in mind, I think I’ve gotten at least a little bit better at appreciating the view rather than always trying to chase the horizon.
And, without doing any further analysis, I’m willing to leave it at that. At least for now. ;)
- Steve
