Non-negotiables

How do you keep your sh*t together when you’re busy? 

I’ve been thinking about this lately since October is shaping up to be particularly busy for me. No complaints: it’s a great kind of busy. But I know that I need to keep my head in the game or I’ll feel like I’m falling behind and will be less productive/happy.

I also know what it’s like to need to keep yourself focused and stress levels low. In Olympic training and competition, you are constantly stressed - and I don’t mean the anxiety-type exactly. We looked at everything as stress to the “system”. Our system was our muscles, our nervous system, our psychological state, etc. And we examined stress so closely because high stress produces cortisol in your body, which has some specific negative outcomes for athletic performance.

We had a saying - “stress is stress is stress.”

That meant that often athletes and coaches would look at the training cycles, and recovery data to determine how ready one is for competition. But even back in the late 2000’s, Stu (my coach, Stu McMillan) and I took everything into consideration. Training levels and the stress on our system was obvious. But we also looked at travel stress (being on a plane is dehydrating and rigid; time change while traveling is toxic [Mayo Clinic nails that one]), relationships stress, dietary stress, therapy stress (massages were especially stressful on the system), and more. 

In the non-sport high-performance world many live in, almost everyone is looking for both optimal performance now and optimal long-term health as often as possible. Having a successful career today while being able to ski a double black diamond in your 70’s, write a book in your 80’s - you get the point. That’s my version of work-life balance. It’s not always about today’s balance.

I feel like I’m fortunate to have established a current set of non-negotiables that I’ve developed over the years. These are the things that keep me sane and centered so I don’t get too far off track, yet at the same time manage stress on the system for short and long-term goals.

Here’s what works for me. Before sharing, I will fully admit that I don’t always nail these. I am for 90%+ efficiency at these things. I don’t stress about it if I have a streak of a bit lower for a week or two. But I do everything I can to protect this set of absolutes. Take a look, and let me know if you have any strategies of your own to share. 

My four daily non-negotiables: 

1. Exercise. 

During the workweek, the first hour of my day — usually 5:30 a.m. to 6:30 am — is devoted to exercise. What type of exercise depends on the day: I generally lift twice a week, and run/cycle/bootcamp four times a week.

I once heard someone refer to it as “running helps me let go of my anxiety; lifting helps me let go of my aggression.”

When I run, I listen to a podcast (nothing too heavy or depressing, as I’ve found that what I listen to can influence the quality of my run. If I listen to something entertaining or uplifting, I run better.) When I lift, I listen to music so I’m not distracted.

I’m always paying attention to the inputs that help me perform better, and I’ve found that the right podcast or music can make my workout better, which in turn makes ME better for the rest of my day. I just really enjoy the game of it as much as anything else.

(Cool piece here from Scientific American on it: Let's Get Physical: The Psychology of Effective Workout Music.)

I prioritize exercise because it always, without fail, makes the rest of my day better. I will sacrifice sleep for exercise because I’ve never completed a day and thought, “I wish I got an extra hour of sleep instead of that workout.” 

This John Hopkins Medicine piece, Exercising for Better Sleep, fills in some great blanks if you’re thinking about your sleep-to-exercise ratios.

Besides, with a five-year-old and a baby in the house, sleep is never guaranteed. “Sleeping in” is not a thing in my house. But if I can get up before the kids do and get in a workout, I will reap the benefits for the rest of the day. Exercise in the morning puts me in a better mood and headspace, it gives me more clarity, and provides me with more energy for the rest of the day. So, everything revolves around that. 

2. Time with the kids. 

After my workout, I spend 30-60 minutes with my daughter, Brett and some time with Axel (our 7 month old) before Brett goes off to school and I head to work. 

I also make sure to secure time to spend with the kids in the evenings, like having dinner together, or taking Brett to gymnastics or soccer practice. This might not always happen when I’m travelling, so it’s all the more important to me to make time for it when I’m at home. 

I wanted to learn a little more about why I feel like this helps me and it turns out that spending in-person time with loved ones reduces the occurrence of depression, anxiety, and other mental illness. Highland Springs, a specialty clinic focusing on behavioural health talks about it in the article, The Top Ten Benefits Of Spending Time With Family.

3. Have lunch. 

I put 30 minutes each day into my calendar for lunch. As you can see, it just says: HOLD - Eat.

I used to think this idea was ridiculous. Stupid. Completely unnecessary. And then, it turns out, if I don’t schedule it, it might not happen. I’ll just forget. The bobsled version of myself would roll his eyes and slap me behind the head.

But in 2022 I need to be very efficient with my day. I don’t take breaks and I’m often in back-to-back meetings or I book myself specific work times. It’s just what works best for me.

I try to avoid working through that lunch break, too. Usually while I eat I watch the news or read so I can catch up on what’s going on in the rest of the world. This gives me a bit of a break so I can go back to work refueled and ready to focus.

4. Don’t work past 8 p.m.

My typical workday lasts from around 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. but we all know how easily work can bleed into the evenings. I’m the first to admit this rule does get broken sometimes depending on what is going on at work, home, and what the rest of my day looks like. But I try very hard not to break this rule anymore. 

I first put this rule into place several years ago when I was not in a good place and had no boundaries between my work and life. Everything was full blurred together and it was making me miserable. (as a note - sometimes that blur is totally fine. At the time for me it wasn’t.) The Rise App does a good job explaining this a bit more: Wind-Down Time: The Key to Healthy, Natural Sleep [I don’t use the app nor know anything about it].

These days, I aim to go to bed around 9:30 pm so I can fall asleep around 10-10:30 pm. I look to have at least an hour of wind-down time for myself.

This is an important rule for my own mental and physical health, and it helps all my other non-negotiables — like getting up and working out and spending time with my family — work better. 

So that’s me. Nothing too complicated. It’s never perfect but I try to abide by these absolutes because I know they work for me. When things get busy, I find it’s even more important to uphold them because that’s when they pay off the most. 

What about you? What are your non-negotiables? Write me back and let me know what works for you. I’m always looking to shake things up.

– Steve