Take Control of Negative Thoughts: How Small Choices Rewire Your Mindset

Break free from spiraling negativity: Discover how simple, intentional choices can reshape your mindset and boost resilience.

“The most powerful moment of your day is the instant you choose what to do with a negative thought.”

A few years before my third Olympics, stress and doubt were constant. I had the training, the accolades, and the team—but fear still whispered: Can I stay on top? Can I make it to the next Games? There were dozens of incredible athletes nipping at my heels, constantly, for a decade as I occupied a seat in our “USA 1” sled. That fear wasn’t just distracting; it was the leading cause of my chronic stress and was draining my energy, which began to hurt my performance.

Here are the facts for both men and women: chronic stress raises cortisol, disrupting hormones, reducing energy, impairing recovery, and harming physical performance. It also affects clarity, mood, and reproductive health, undermining overall well-being.

That stress can show up in ways we can’t help but notice: You work out regularly but don’t see the results you expect, while others seem to progress faster, leaving you frustrated. By mid-afternoon, you’re drained, blaming it on your busy life but wondering if it’s something more. You start forgetting important things—a missed deadline here, or letting something your partner asked you to do slip through the cracks. Your mood swings more than you’d like to admit, with little things setting you off more often than they should. These are signs that something deeper might need your attention.

We’ve all been there—days and weeks before a big presentation or a tough conversation, or lying awake at night, stuck in a loop of worry. As an athlete, I had to master stress to beat the reigning Germans and win Gold. But when I moved into roles like running a company, sitting on boards, and parenting, those same stressors reappeared. At first, I didn’t connect the tools I used as an Olympian to life outside sport. Eventually, I realized those lessons weren’t just about pushing a sled—they were about thriving under pressure. I began applying them to everyday challenges, and everything changed. While we can’t erase tough moments, we can change how we respond—and that starts with small, intentional choices.

Here’s how to recognize thoughts that are causing stress in your own life and three methods I use with clients to take control, build resilience, and thrive—not just today, but long-term. Let’s dive in.

Instant Fixes for Negative Thoughts: Decisions to Make in the Moment

Negative thoughts have a way of creeping in at the worst times. Instead of letting them spiral, you can interrupt them with intentional choices. During my Olympic career, those thoughts often struck at the top of a bobsled track—right before a 95 mph descent requiring absolute focus. Learning to manage them wasn’t just about performance; it was about safety.

For the rest of us, the wrong moments vary—days and weeks before a big sales pitch, hours before addressing a sensitive issue with your child, or lying awake at night thinking about work and other problems. 

Here are three simple steps to stop negative thoughts in their tracks:

1. Label the Thought or Let It Linger

When a negative thought arises, you have two options:

• Label It: Call it what it is—like “fear” (of something that may happen) or “doubt” (that you or someone will/won’t do something) —to create distance between you and the worry. Labeling makes it clear the thought doesn’t define you; it’s just a feeling about something that may or may not happen.

• Let It Linger: Absorb it as truth, accepting what the fear or doubt is suggesting to you—“this will happen” or “I can’t do that.” 

By labeling the thought, you weaken its grip with the goal of moving on. Letting it linger only gives the negative thought power, eroding your confidence. Next time doubt sneaks in, try labeling it and see how quickly its weight lifts.

2. Focus on the Specific or Leave It Vague

Ambiguous thoughts like “I’m going to fail” love to hang out in the shadows. You can choose to bring them into the light by focusing on one specific action you can control to lower the anxiety being caused by the random thought, like taking a deep breath or remembering a past success. You’re acknowledging that the thought is real, while taking physical action in the moment to alleviate its symptoms. 

Research shows that when you focus on something concrete, the ambiguity evaporates, and the worry shrinks. Choosing to leave it vague, however, allows the worry to grow stronger. 

At first, making the choice to refocus is conscious—like learning to drive and focusing on the pedals. But over time, this choice becomes automatic, and your mind naturally gravitates toward what’s real.

3. Reframe “What If” to “What Is”

Negative thoughts love to start with “what if”—What if I fail? What if they don’t like my idea? Instead, anchor yourself in “what is.” Ask, What is one real thing I can do right now to change the outcome?

Staying in “what if” fuels the spiral of worry. Shifting to “what is” grounds you in the present, focusing your energy on what’s actionable. Research shows when you choose “what is,” you bring your mind back to the present and the real steps you can take.

Over time, this habit turns doubt into decisive action.

One tip to get it all started: write it down. I often open my calendar app, create an event called “Handle This,” and set it for later in the week when I have time. In the event description, I jot down the negative thoughts and a few actionable steps I could take to address them. Scheduling it not only relieves the immediate pressure but also gives me a place to revisit if the thoughts resurface or I come up with additional solutions.

These three strategies focus on making intentional choices in the moment—actions that stop negative thoughts from cycling endlessly in your mind. It’s not easy at first. Recognizing when your thoughts are spiraling takes practice, but with time, this metacognitive skill sharpens, and you’ll catch yourself earlier and earlier.

By consistently making these choices, you’ll interrupt negative patterns, build mental resilience, and strengthen your ability to face challenges with clarity and calm. Over time, these habits will become second nature, helping you thrive in even the most stressful situations.

While useful in and of themselves, these short-term strategies are best paired with some proactive strategies that can set the stage for better long-term results. So in the next newsletter, I’ll dive into long-term strategies you can use to set yourself up for for success. These will help you get ahead of your negativity, so you’ll need to leverage those short-term strategies less and less over time. Stay tuned for that!

Stay driven,
Steve