The Better Equation
Note from Steve: To use this as a self-improvement document, print it off and fill it out for yourself. You can do that by right-clicking and clicking “Print” to save it as a PDF. Alternatively, you can try my beta-stage “Form” page here and type into the webpage to have your work emailed directly to you.
Of the hundreds of individuals I consider “successful people” that I’ve competed with, worked with, and spoken with over the years I’ve learned that getting better at stuff isn’t random and it isn’t something “some people just do”.
There’s a simple formula to it. If you follow the equation, you get better – reliably. You can learn to “get better on demand!”
And what’s really amazing about the equation is that you can apply it to long-term improvement (like over the course of years or a lifetime) or within a really short period of time (like an hour).
This approach has helped me in various aspects of my life, including participating in the Olympics, growing a business, and personal challenges like running a marathon. It's been a versatile tool for diverse goals. I’ve also used it to put shelves up in my home office and to get comfortable being uncomfortable having difficult conversations.
The equation is that adaptable. You can apply it to business skills, physical skills, social-emotional skills, you name it.
By following this equation, which many successful people use, you enhance your chances of improving in your chosen area. While there's no one-size-fits-all guarantee, this framework provides a solid foundation for growth.
The base of the equation comes down to this:
1. Decide to get better at something.
2. Learn about it.
3. Make a plan and follow it.
4. Assess your improvement.
While this process may seem straightforward, I understand that each step can have its own set of challenges and complexities. It's okay if it feels tough at times. If we can perfect the art of getting better at whatever it is we do, which this equation is for, then our chances of success increase exponentially.
Bringing it back to our routes with a homegrown graphic:
Better equals Decide Squared times Learn, divided by Plan plus Follow squared, all multiplied by Assessing it all.
How do I know this? Because research tells us only 8% of people out there achieve the goals they set. Yeah. 8%.
So if we can master improvement, we have a 10x better chance than everyone else at getting to the line first and reaching our goals.
Want to try it out the equation for yourself and see how it works for you? Cool. Let’s do an experiment: Pick a thing and follow the process. I’ll guide us through it.
For the sake of this experiment, my suggestion is to pick something specific you want to improve. Make it something bite-size and specific for now. Eat healthier (pun intended), give better critical feedback at work, or have less of a hangover after a night out. (see - this can be fun, test away on that last one!)
But before we jump in, I’d like to quickly dispel a myth - and that is that people succeed at their goals when they’re challenging. This may be true, but don’t let yourself believe it’s mandatory. (Yes, I’m insinuating this is both true and false concurrently!) Training yourself to concur mundane goals and get better at anything, at any time, and you’ll prime yourself to be ready to improve on your own terms - not the terms of the goal itself. The same goes for telling your goals to someone to keep you accountable - it may help many but ultimately it brings in an external factor and extrinsic motivation that will sink your ability to “get better on demand.”
To get started, print off this email and fill it in my hand, or fill out the electronic form here:
Step 1. DECIDE you will get better at something
What does it mean to you to get better at this thing? When I chose to run a marathon, I desperately needed to get better at running long distances. It was that simple.
So I DECIDED I was going to get better at it.
What does DECIDE mean? It's not an acronym but a powerful commitment to yourself. Think of it as a firm but encouraging voice guiding you forward. This step is the contract you make with yourself and inarguably the most important.
So I didn’t set a goal of breaking any records or being extraordinary at it. For my first marathon, my goal was to complete the distance, with a stretch goal of running sub-4 hours.
People asked me if training for the marathon was difficult. And I can honestly say it wasn’t. The hardest part was making the DECISION I was going to do it, and then it was just about following the next few steps. There was no bargaining with myself or others. I was in.
To put this in play for you and to complete this step of the equation - write down what you’re committed to improving, and what “better” means in this specific domain for you.
I DECIDE to get better at…
To me, getting better at this means I will…
(This is the new bar for you, so don’t skip it. Also, be sure write down what your current benchmark is. Write out exactly what improvement looks like, e.g., lower my average daily anxiety from a 4/5 to a 3/5; have a crucial conversation with my teenager without yelling; or hang some IKEA shelves within one week of the idea, rather than one year!)…
What usually stops me is…
(If you’ve tried this specific thing before, what brought you down? Or, what is your normal procrastinating pattern for other things?)
Step 2. Learn
People who are successful know their shit. And they also know enough to know they don’t know it all.
Consider the thing you want to get better at. What crucial pieces of information are you missing that are stopping you? (Hint: often this is - “I don’t know where to start”) What knowledge gaps or uncertainties do you have about it?
Given what you don’t know, start doing some research.
There are two ways you can do this:
1. One-way research
By “One-way resources”, I’m referring to things like articles, books, podcasts… stuff that is largely self-guided, that you can access on your own. If you don’t have much time (say, you want to improve something within the next 60 minutes), 1-way resources are the place to start.
Google (or ask Chat GPT!) the simplest version of what you’re trying to do.
Bonus Move: Go down “Eyes-wide-open Rabbit Holes”
What’s this mean? When researching something, look out for ideas, phrases, or concepts that you don’t fully understand or know the answer to. Then, go research those things. For example, when I was embarking on marathon training, I learned the theory of having 80% of your training runs be “easy/slow” was important. Okay, fine — but I didn’t know why. So I learned. But then I realized I didn’t know what the definition of “slow/easy” was. So I learned.
This research wound up being incredibly useful. If I didn’t understand the why behind the method, I likely wouldn’t have had the discipline to maintain a slow and steady pace while being passed by randoms out on the running path on my easy days.
Knowledge can help build our discipline and help us stick to our DECISION.
In reference to the DECISION I made, I will/I did Google/Ask ChatGPT (or picked out the following book(s))…
Cool/New stuff I learned: (list out the most important things you harvested from your sources)
2. Two-way research
Note: you’ll likely need to skip this step to complete in under an hour
Now for two-way resources: this is where you learn about something by engaging with other people. In other words: asking for help! People are often shocked to discover that most people who know things are happy to share with you, when asked.
Here’s a really simple and effective method for doing this:
Text or message 2-3 people. (Choose people you might consider advisors—they should know more about the subject than you do.
Tell them what you’re trying to do, and the problem you’ve been having with it. (Or the precise thing you want to improve.)
Ask them if they’d be willing to have a phone call or meeting with you, so you can get their advice on the subject.
This is an incredibly effective and efficient way to improve something, especially if you have good advisors. It is probably the BEST way to get better quickly, because it gets you out of your own head (and ego) and will help you see room for improvement that you never could have figured out on your own. And unless they’re robots, these people will have been at your stage at some point in their life - I can guarantee they weren’t born this way.
(Honestly, I’m amazed at how few people do this. Is it because we’re afraid of admitting we need help and taking a blow to the ego, or is it because we’re afraid of bothering other people? A subject for a future article, perhaps. Meanwhile, if you need some encouragement, check this out: A social psychologist explains why we should ask for help more often - The Verge)
With all this said, here’s your next step. Clearly identify what you want to learn about, where you will start researching, and who you can ask for guidance.
I will ask [list 2-3 people]...
My takeaways were… (return to this step when you’ve completed it)
Step 3. Make a plan and follow it to the letter. (aka Do the damn thing!)
Now that you’ve learned some more about the thing you want to improve, make a plan.
Start with no more than 1-2 things you’re going to do, when, and how often.
Don’t overcomplicate your planning, and don’t aim for perfection. Just create something you’re prepared to commit to. As I’ve said before: 100% commitment to a 50% plan beats 50% commitment to a 100% plan.
Don’t let perfect get in the way of good. When it’s time to win the Olympics or sell your Unicorn, then we’ll go a little closer towards perfect and we’ll re-visit this one.
Bonus Move: If you consulted any advisors in the previous step, share your plan with them. Show them how you applied their advice, and invite them to provide feedback on your plan. Then, if it feels appropriate to do so, you can revise your plan to integrate their input. But again, don’t overcomplicate things. Unless you’re building a house (or a business) from the ground-up, make one round of edits and then move on.
Once you’ve got the plan, go do it. In Step 1, you committed to yourself you’ll do this. Research tells us the number one reason people don’t accomplish what they set out to do is because of lack of commitment.
If you said you’d get up at 5:30 a.m. each day to meditate for the next three weeks in order to reduce your anxiety or write 10- pages per week of your novel with the goal of having a finished draft this year - don’t snooze the alarm. Wake the hell up at 5:30 a.m. and do the thing you planned.
This is where improvement really happens: shedding the paralyzation that haunts the 92% that don’t accomplish their goals and by taking the first step and doing the thing. Really, doing anything.
So don’t deviate. Don’t find excuses. Do the thing, and you will get better.
To help you keep things simple and clear, write your plan out here:
I will do this [what will you do, on which days, what times/time of day, and for what duration]...
I will do this [for how long — e.g., one week, one month, three months, etc. or until a certain milestone of improvement]...
Step 4. Assess your improvement
Once you’ve followed your plan, revisit your answers from Step 1 and assess your progress. Did you improve the thing you set out to improve? If you did - pat yourself on the back. You’ve now just done what more than 11 out of 12 people fail to do - you accomplished a goal! Congrats!
Depending on what you’ve chosen, you might be satisfied with your progress and decide to move on to something new. If that’s the case - harnass that momentum and head back to Step 1 with a new area to improve.
But if you’re hungry for a little more and want to identify more room for improvement in the same thing, you can now choose to build on any progress you’ve made.
(And if you think you haven’t made any progress, I’m guessing you at least have more information/data than you did pre-experiment. You learned from the experiment. Which means you’re already better than you were before even if the results aren’t coming through yet.)
Regardless, identifying progress and seeing room for improvement is an important part of getting better. Don’t skip this step. It will help you keep growing and getting better, and that’s what it’s all about.
If you like, after this step you can return to Step 1. Reiterate and repeat the process considering how you want to get better from here.
Looking back at where I started, I improved [write out any/all ways you think you improved]....
Here’s how I would have liked to improve more (or how I would still like to improve)...
Knowing what I now know, I will work on getting better by [write out what you will do next, e.g., returning to step 1 and repeating the process; asking another person for help; revising your plan; etc.]...
There you have it. That’s the “Better Equation”. Take the first step by printing off this email or filling in the form here [link].
Don’t sit on this. Let’s get it done! And let me know how it goes.
- Steve
