Trust yourself first
Team building is a common theme in both business and sport; I’ve expressly covered it a few times:
Like here: Three lessons on building a team at 95 mph.
And here: Overcommunicate: F-16s and leading.
I probably keep coming back to this topic because teams are the vehicle through which we accomplish anything. This is true in sport, in business and organizations, in family, in just about any situation where we strive to get or do better. As I’ve said before, teams aren’t just an essential part of our life and work, I personally think they’re the best part.
But working together also inevitably leads to tension and friction. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing; a degree of conflict can be a key ingredient in improving and achieving anything of value. And in my opinion, half the fun in life is being amongst people of diverse backgrounds, beliefs, and opinions.
On our road to Olympic gold in 2010 we had plenty of times when we had to reset how our team was going to show up at training, at races, and on a day-to-day basis. Curt, Justin, Holcy and I all sat down after the Olympic team was named on a cold, dark night in St. Moritz, Switzerland in January of 2010. That night is meant for celebration and relaxation — but our goal was never to be named to the Olympic team.
Our goal was to win the Olympics. So with that goal in mind, we went into a back room of the hotel and we had a 4-way heart-to-heart. We talked about the bad habits we had, and one of us in particular, and how we could all work together over the coming seven weeks to ensure our dreams weren’t derailed by our own behaviors.
Suffice to say, it wasn’t an easy conversation and bordered on an intervention. But it was needed and we walked out better because we trusted each other, knew we all were going after the same exact goal, and we had learned how to communicate with one another over time. We knew what the hot buttons were and we would avoid them; but we wouldn’t avoid the truth and the needs of the team.
There’s a reason that teamwork is part of SEL curriculum at Classroom Champions — because teamwork is both incredibly important and challenging at times. Teamwork is a skill, one that must be learned and practiced.
Having said all that, I think one of the best things we can do to strengthen our teams is to take a look at ourselves.
Any kind of improvement has to start from within. So, if you want your team to do more / better, if you want to deepen trust or commitment, consider: are you being the example? Are you being true to yourself? Are you living according to the values you espouse?
I can admit that this hasn’t always been true for me. There was a time when the answer to those questions was “no”. At that point in time I had retired from sport and I was in the process of figuring out what came next. I found myself consulting for businesses and delivering a lot of motivational speeches. Many of the talks I was asked to give were about improving productivity, or fixing problems, and at a certain point that just didn’t feel right.
I love public speaking and thrive on interacting with audiences, yet this kind of consulting and speaking left me feeling drained and miserable. The irony was not lost on me that I found myself seriously unmotivated to be giving these “motivational” speeches. Beneath it all, I felt a strong undercurrent of imposter syndrome.
The late, great Chris Farley debuted his “Matt Foley: Motivational Speaker” character on Saturday Night Live in 1993!
The problem was: I wasn’t living true to my values.
I’d become some guy in a suit acting like he had everything figured out… and that just wasn’t me.
When I finally clued into this fact, I made a change. I quit giving speeches and I quit consulting. (In fact, I took a 7-year hiatus from the whole “motivational speaking thing”.) I focused on getting better acquainted — and in alignment with — my personal values.
With this clearly defined commitment, my mental health improved, my relationships were reinvigorated, and I was able to pivot and grow Classroom Champions. (And 7 years later, I’m back on the speaking circuit-ish and absolutely love it.) None of this would be possible had I not taken the time to get real with myself.
And consistency with this mindset is key. Being consistent is also a well-researched area of leadership. The best leaders I know are consistent in their approach, even when that approach is being flexible. Here’s a solid Forbes piece on 15 Things Effective Leaders Do With Extreme Consistency to hammer that point home for us.
(And can I just say — I’m so incredibly proud of the entire Classroom Champions team. I can’t help but to brag about them for a second: they are such a dedicated, hardworking group and the progress we’ve made this year is a true testament to all of our staff, mentors, volunteers, donors, teachers, administrators, and of course, the students themselves! This is what teamwork really means. It extends to every single person who strives to bring a dream into reality.)
It’s not that I have things completely figured out. None of us will — that’s part of life. Moreover, our values and understanding of ourselves and others will shift and evolve over time, and that’s a good thing.
In the meantime we can keep checking in with ourselves, being honest with what we find, and adjusting our choices and behavior accordingly.
Because if we want our team to trust us (and if we want to be worthy of that trust) we have to trust ourselves first.
- Steve
