What to (not) focus on: says the former Olympian

There is a pet peeve amongst many Olympians and it goes like this: 

When you introduce someone who has competed in the Olympics, you call them an Olympian. 

Should you call someone a “former Olympian”, as in — “Introducing former Olympian Steve Mesler” — some people in my community might consider that an egregious slight. 

I am not one of those people.

Which is a good thing for me, because this faux pas happens pretty regularly. In fact, it happened just yesterday morning at a conference I was the keynote for in Nashville. 

If you’re not an Olympian this might seem trivial to you. But many people take this wording seriously. In fact, the stated motto at the top of the website for the United States Olympians and Paralympians Association reads: “Once an Olympian, Always an Olympian; Never Former, Never Past”. It’s a copyrighted statement.

“Doesn’t it bother you, Steve?” my fellow Olympians ask me. 

Here’s why I bring this up. More and more in my life, I am reminded that we get to choose what to focus on. And we get to choose what to let go of. 

At the conference I mentioned, was the person’s intent to slight me? Absolutely not. He was one of the most respectful and kind humans I’ve worked with in a long time. And even if his intent had been to slight me, that’s going to be the speaker’s baggage - it needn't be mine.

Two-time Olymipan Eddie Thys wrote about this very subject (the overall concept, not necessarily in agreeance with me) in 2014 for Ski Magazine in a fantastic piece titled “Once an Olympian”. It’s a read I didn’t see coming, I think about parts of it often, and I really enjoyed it.

For me - I figure in a world where we all may have a lot of things to worry about, we need to look for places where we can de-stress and let ourselves and others off the hook. If someone’s intent was good and their knowledge, in this case, of how most Olympians prefer to be recognized was not, I’ve found that’s not something for me to be upset about or to even educate them on. 

I’d really prefer to look for the places where we can reduce collective anxiety and stress, so we focus more on what really matters. Correcting someone on a statement they may utter a few times in their lives likely isn’t one of them in my eyes.

I also like to look at where I can place my focus - and increasingly the best, healthiest, most productive, and happiest place for that is what my reaction is to… just about everything.

So, if someone does something I don’t like, something that could be interpreted as a bit of a slight or even an insult, I have to say to myself: Does it actually bother me? Do I want to do anything about this? Or do I want to let it go? 

This is a choice I and I alone get to make. It’s not a big deal to me… but it is to a lot of others. And I respect the hell out of that, too.

I’d also say, that for those Olympians this means a lot to, that should also be respected. You’ll never catch me throwing “former” in front just to antagonize someone since it’s not important to me. 

Point is: we get to decide what battles we’re going to fight. And I think if we’re honest, we could probably fight fewer of them and make things a little easier for all of us. 

- Steve