Advice to our younger selves
Here’s a question: what advice would you give your college-aged self?
If you could travel back in time and meet that young person, what would you say?
I’ve been thinking about this because I’m going to be giving the commencement address at my alma mater, the University of Florida’s College of Health and Human Performance, this spring. As part of my preparation process, I’ve been speaking with some graduating seniors there to learn more about what’s on their minds. I’m curious to hear what people of their demographic are concerned with, looking for, scared of and thinking about.
I’ve asked each of them the following seven questions and their responses have been both fascinating and really, really inspiring. Most questions were meant to be very open-eneded. Their responses on one end certainly got into the weeds of their academic experience but the weight of their answers were more contemplative of life…
What was your experience like?
What were the 3 most important things you learned?
What are your goals for career and life?
What are you hopeful for in your life?
What are you afraid of and nervous about?
What would you like to hear me talk about?
Anything I didn’t ask that I should have, or anything else that would be helpful or informative for me to hear?
They’ve been sharing how they’ve learned to be open to other people’s perspectives, how they’ve understood the power of growing a strong network, and how they’ve come to realize there’s not a straight line to success.
Keep in mind - this is also the generation who had their first year interrupted by COVID, spent their second year learning from home, and then were re-introduced to the college experience in their third year. Wild, huh?!
The experience has nudged me to look back and reflect on what it was like to be their age. Afterall, as I’ve told each of them - I’m coming down there to speak to them. Not the faculty and staff, who I love and respect, but to do my small part in helping them set their intentions as they move into the next phase of their lives.
As I thought about it for myself, if I could magically transport back in time right now, the most crucial advice I would tell 21-year-old Steve is to realize the choices I make are mine. I’m responsible for them and I can’t lay blame on anyone else for them.
And I’d probably be specific with myself - that how I choose to feel about something is still a choice I make. Not just the actionable choices that have external results.
Simply because someone aggrieved me, pissed me off, or hurt me doesn’t mean I have to hold on to that and feel aggrieved, pissed, or hurt. My response in the moment is natural and slightly out of my control, but within a few seconds it’s on me. Add it up and I probably spent months if not years of my twenties and thirties stewing on the actions of others that I couldn’t change and that holding that angst wasn’t helping me.
I’m not quite sure yet exactly what I’ll share with the students in Gainesville this May. But based on what they’ve shared with me and what I think I would have needed to hear, something tells me I may not end up too far off from what I myself would have needed to hear.
So what about you? What do you think I should share with them and or what would you have wanted to hear yourself way back when?
If you’re willing, write me back and share your thoughts, I’d love to hear ‘em. I still have some time before I complete the draft for my talk!
- Steve
